I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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