i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
