my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
