garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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