So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
