bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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