don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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