New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
