Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
