You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
