she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
