WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
