He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
