You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I miss vodka workout Fridays
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
