Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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