i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
