somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
