I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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