i can't believe i had my finger in that
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
this will be a night to untag.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't deserve a penis
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
