I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
