I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
