It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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