i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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