you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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