where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
