Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize