We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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