my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
