Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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