went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
