I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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