I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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