finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
