is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
And then my night got REAL pukey
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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