he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My life is pants optional.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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