i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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