sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
