O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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