We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You smell like stripper and shame
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My life is pants optional.
Randomize