Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
