got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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