She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
