Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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