I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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