Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize