Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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