are you still at the devil's house?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
