I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
