Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
