i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
