2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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