i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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