Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
