so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
