Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
