Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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