i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
