ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
