suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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