I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
