so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
