hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
