I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
dude. I can hear the air.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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