I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
