the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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