Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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