your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
