So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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