i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
