i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
