Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
