i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I have demons in me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize
