If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
